we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
