I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
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I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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