Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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