TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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