Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.