I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
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Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
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then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"