shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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