Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Houston.. we have a drinking problem..

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  (402): Houston.. we have a drinking problem.. http://tfl.nu/fbwf
  Replies (5) Good night (1391) Bad night (656)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection

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  (206): Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection http://tfl.nu/mgca
  Replies (21) Good night (2752) Bad night (716)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date

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  (413): He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date http://tfl.nu/21qw
  Replies (58) Good night (1309) Bad night (5815)
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  (619): View more from California

  I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.

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  (619): I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person. http://tfl.nu/uqdv
  Replies (54) Good night (1889) Bad night (5977)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.

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  (702): I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave. http://tfl.nu/8hoe
  Replies (17) Good night (3771) Bad night (1575)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.

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  (501): He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship. http://tfl.nu/bk2a
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (2337)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before

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  (416): Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before http://tfl.nu/meit
  Replies (4) Good night (3334) Bad night (3607)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.

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  (770): We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere. http://tfl.nu/s422
  Replies (2) Good night (2184) Bad night (973)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.

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  (806): I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you. http://tfl.nu/8w6h
  Replies (12) Good night (3438) Bad night (1015)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.

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  (410): The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal. http://tfl.nu/fe59
  Replies (17) Good night (1000) Bad night (1476)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.

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  (704): The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here. http://tfl.nu/9670
  Replies (2) Good night (1545) Bad night (587)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.

  (607): View more from New York

  I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero

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  (719): And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot. (607): I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero http://tfl.nu/sawz
  Replies (2) Good night (1849) Bad night (500)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank

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  (775): Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers. (1-775): Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank http://tfl.nu/28ka
  Replies (3) Good night (1102) Bad night (604)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"

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  (913): He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat" http://tfl.nu/few2
  Replies (7) Good night (1561) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him

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  (425): When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him http://tfl.nu/g8jv
  Replies (4) Good night (557) Bad night (449)

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