We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
