Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize