I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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