i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
