i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
