my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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