My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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