problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
