I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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