I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
