Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
