I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
