I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I need moral support for this bender
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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