She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
