"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
