so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm at about main and main street
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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