I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
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so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
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for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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