he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
