I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
