What did we do last night that was yellow?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
