i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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