Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
