Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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