God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
