Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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