Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
