I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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