dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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