She announced her abortion via fbk
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
