I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
