went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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