I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
