Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
