My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This is the high leading the old right now
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
