SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
