In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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