You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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