UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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