Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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