You don't have asthma, your pregnant
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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