Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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