I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
