he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
