the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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