I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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