Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
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I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
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I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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