I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
