the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
