Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I love you.
Bad choice
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
