i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Never joke about your clitoris.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
