But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
