just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
