i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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