Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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