don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
