I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
